Why We Stopped Paying to Be Underwhelmed

We recently did something we that used to be a norm, but now I could probably count on my hands how many times we do it in a year: ate out at a sit down restaurant.

We are an ingredients household, for the most part, and have been for several years. Way before it was a trend. I don't even follow things like that, so it's the luck of the algorithm that I even know that's a thing. Anyway, we do have some pre-packaged things that the kids eat, but Philip and I rarely eat any of that (I would love it if the kids didn't eat that stuff either, but we can't win them all). We stock so many staples that pretty much anything that we want to eat is available to make.  This system is certainly made easier by our lifestyle--one parent who stays at home, one parent who works remote (so no travel time), and no kids in sports (yet), so we are able to to make it work. But I have a whole list of other reasons why we don't eat out very often: 

1. Prior to this stage of life (children being 6.5 and almost 4), eating at restaurants with kids wasn’t fun. We occasionally go to Chinese, and that usually goes okay because of the instant gratification of the buffet, but actually having to order and wait equated to impatience and whining, which isn’t fun for anyone. 
2. I'm decent at cooking and Philip is pretty phenomenal and we can make just about anything we would choose to order at a restaurant, at home, andddd it will likely taste better. 
3. It will also have less calories because we’re not deep-frying anything here because I absolutely hate the smell. You could argue that that is a reason it won’t taste better than at a restaurant, but we don’t really eat foods that would taste better deep fried on the regular, so I guess it doesn’t matter. 
4. Eating out is super stupid expensive! We ate at two sit down restaurants, costing us $150 between the two, and one only was kinda worth it. 

Last month, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings when they were packed, so we had to wait quite a while on our food, but it wasn’t the worst. The boys did okay during the wait, and Quinn even tasted my parmesan garlic chicken sandwich, said he liked it, and ate half 🤯. Now, this was, of course, after saying he didn’t like his own food that HE CHOSE 🙄. So there’s reason number five: 

5. Children will choose to order foods that they eat every friggin day but then won’t eat it because the fries are too potatoey, or the chicken tenders aren't the right shape of chicken, or the breading has a crunchy end, or any other nonsense they can think of.  Money wasted.

However, despite Quinn reneging on his order, the experience was mostly positive because he tried something new, and they both sat patiently and didn’t act like wild animals. Quinn liked the garlic parm sauce so much that I bought a bottle of it and he will now eat it on chicken 🙌🏻. Anything that lengthens the list of foods Quinn will eat is a win in my book. 

A few weeks later, our outing lead us to Olive Garden, which used to be a favorite. I loved their lasagna and Alfredo, so the tour of Italy is usually my pick, and it’s Philip’s, too. He ordered it, but I had just had some creamy pasta the day before, so I went with just straight lasagna. Quinn got a second meal he didn’t like for the same reason as before (nonsense), and Ash got a pizza that was too cheesy 🙄. If not for the breadsticks, they would’ve starved. Olive Garden salad used to set the bar for me, their dressing was my absolute favorite. My tastes have changed though, and while it was good, I’ll take Ken’s Zesty Italian over it any day. I rolled my eyes about Ash’s reason for not eating his pizza, but I also complained about my lasagna having too much cheese 😂. That is in stark contrast to the man beside us who answered, “As much as humanly possible,” when asked if he’d like freshly grated parmesan on his food. My answer to that was, “No, thank you,” which I feel as though the servers always have a hard time accepting 😂. The amount of marinara sauce makes or breaks it for me, and there definitely wasn’t enough for my liking. I could've asked for more, but I didn't bother. I brought half of my lasagna home and ate it the next day with my own additional sauce. Truthfully, the lasagna that we make tops Olive Garden's. It's a pain in the ass to make, but it's worth it!

If I ever had any FOMO surrounding dining out, it has been quelled. Our recent experiences gave us an adequate reminder of why we don’t do that more often. I do have Wendy’s every couple of weeks because burgers are my favorite food in the entire world and Wendy’s does burgers right by me 🤤. We also love Sam’s Club cafe pizza and brownie sundae. If Defelice Pizza was in town, I'd definitely have it more often. I miss when Garfield’s existed at the mall. I loved that place. Aside from those, I’m not really that interested in frequenting any big chain establishments. The prices alone make me wonder how half of these subpar places are still in business!

Who needs restaurants when I can have a blueberry pie stuffed waffle right at home?

I can turn my sourdough bread into pizza anytime I want. 

Mother/Son Valentine Dance 2026

I wasn't sure if the boys and I would be attending the 6th annual Mother/Son dance hosted my N.M. Parks and Rec. We didn't make it long last year, mostly because the timing is bad for us. It starts at 7:30pm and bedtime is 8:00 at our house. I don't really have a problem with extending bedtime to accommodate special events, but 1. they truly just can't hang long, and 2. staying up later doesn't equal sleeping in longer the next morning, and then they're just grumpy all day 😑. We did it anyway, though. I asked the boys if they wanted to go, before buying tickets, and Quinn said no, but Ash said yes. Obviously, I couldn't just buy a ticket for Ash, because I knew Quinn would change his mind. A few days later, he asked if he could still go, and I told him I already bought him a ticket. He was excited and started talking about what he was going to wear. I told him that events like this are special, and it would be nice if he would agree to wear dress clothes. He was all for it and ended up wanting to buy a suit 😂. Finding one to fit him wasn't easy because he's so thin, pants lengths are difficult to get right. Philip and I measured him and I chose the one that hit the most sizing categories. We got lucky with one that fit perfectly!

As soon as he got it, that's all he wanted to wear. I'm not surprised that it ended up being like another costume to him. 

He even wore it to Sam's Club the weekend before the dance, but after that I told him he needed to let me wash it and then keep it clean. He was free to pretend play with it after the dance. 

He got new dress shoes for the occasion, too, which he felt completed his sweatpants/t-shirt outfit 😂

Strep almost kept us from going, both boys ended up with it the week of. Quinn started it and Ash got it next. They were both medicated for long enough before the dance to not be considered contagious, so we were still able to go. 

Ash told Quinn he looked like Boss Baby, and I told him he looked like his bodyguard 😂

Ash did not want to wear any fancy clothes, so he got a long sleeve black shirt to match his black sweatpants, and from far away, you could barely tell. I'm just happy he wore socks. He can always be counted on to have either zero, but not more than one sock on at any given time we need to leave the house. He may continue to only have that many once we’ve left, despite me telling him to wear them, if I don't remember to check 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

I'm in a much better place mentally and physically this year than I was last, so shopping for a dress wasn't as painful a task as before. My dress wasn't super fancy, and I was still a little nervous about feeling underdressed, but the other moms seemed to tone it down this year, too, and no one really looked like they were going to their second chance prom. 

😍😍😍

Our official photo from Frannie Herrick

Last year vs. This year

Our biggest transformation was my hair and our ability to better coordinate outfits 

I've still been working out, and this week is number 4/5 of Beta round of Focus T25. If I could stop eating garbage, I'd be making a lot more weight loss progress, but I am getting much stronger. 

Ash even joins me occasionally 😃

Im not sure if I’ve ever wanted a holiday to be over more than this Valentine’s Day 😂. Well, probably Christmas 🙄, but this was a very close second. No one wanted to make a Valentine box. No one wanted to pick out or sign their Valentines. I’m in camp Valentine’s Day Is A Stupid Consumer Holiday, so I really didn’t care, but unless they were going to skip school the days of their parties (they weren't), not doing them wasn’t an option. So we did them, but no one was happy about it 😂. 

They both painted an oatmeal container, colored pictures of their chosen superheroes, and then cut them out and glued them on the containers.

On Valentine's Day, I heard the boys get up and go downstairs around 6:15am, but it didn't take long for Ash to come tell me that there was candy on the table, as if I wasn't the one who left it there 🤦🏻‍♀️. I didn't realize until he came a second time that they were waiting for me to come down before they ate it, or I would've told them to do it and leave me alone 😂. And Quinn is wearing that ninja suit in the pic because that's what he slept in 😆.

Philip made me the best homemade caramel ice cream and chocolate chip cookie ever 🤤

I bought them a sleep training clock because waking me up at the butt crack of down started to be Asher's norm. It goes red at bedtime-8:00pm and turns green at 6:45am, which is when my alarm is set on school days. It turns white at 6:25, which means "soon." I told them they're allowed to get up and go downstairs together whenever it turns white, but they're not allowed to get me unless there's a very good reason. Valentine's Day candy does not meet that requirement 😂.

This morning, I volunteered in Quinn's classroom and I made a craft with the kids. It was supposed to be for Valentine's Day, but we couldn't get it scheduled until this week. I had so much fun and the kids did, too, especially mine 🥰. He seems to really enjoy whenever I go in. I love doing it but I’m always so nervous and don’t sleep well the night before 🫠. I properly worry about all of the things that could go wrong on the days leading up to it, but there never seems to be a cap. It has gone extremely well both times.  I told his teacher I'll plan to come back in and do a spring activity, so hopefully I can chill next time. The kids really loved making slime before, so we may do something else like that. Today we took photos with my Fujifilm Instax mini camera, and the kids decorated popsicle stick frames. I was excited to share my love of photography with them. If I'm going by my interests, maybe next time I should have them plant something. They already work on reading, that will cover most of my favorite hobbies 😂. 

Hey, Big Boy!

Our days of diapers (well, pull-ups at this point) are finally (finally!) over. I was beginning to think Ash was never going to poop in the potty. He’s been peeing in his urinal for months, but he was highly unmotivated to poop in the toilet, despite being offered everything under the sun as a reward for doing so. Anytime he mentioned a new toy or a fun experience, I would offer it as a potty prize. You want a new costume? Absolutely, just poop in the potty! A visit to the trampoline park? Sounds fun! We’ll go today if you poop in the potty. Nothing worked. And then, one day, he just did it on his own, out of the blue. Yay, right? Well, yes, but then I decided that was that, he was there, no going back. So when he pooped in his pants later that same day and then again the next day, I was beyond frustrated. I handled it all wrong, letting my anger take control, shaming him in my tone, even if my words didn’t quite say it. He cried and I felt like an asshole. Philip and I had a conversation about it and he helped me see the error in my approach (which didn’t work, by the way. Ash didn’t stop doing it, he just tried harder to hide it 😩) and I backed off of my all or nothing stance and let him lead. 

I wanted so badly to help Ash achieve his potty milestone, but mostly I was just a complete pain the ass to him. I reminded him approximately 783 times a day that if he needed to poop, he needed to do it in the potty. I set a timer for every 45 minutes and told him to go pee, and then I would ask him every time if he needed to poop. I don’t think any of that was super important, what it really boiled down to was waiting for him to be ready. Some of the most frustrating moments as a parent happen during situations where we have no control. We can’t make them eat, sleep, or use the bathroom. We can manipulate the situation—by giving them the foods we want them to have, or turning out the lights, closing the door, etc., or by sitting them on the potty, but we can’t actually make them do any of those things. And they won’t do them until they’re ready, and we just have to accept it. All kids are different and they all do things on their own timeline, despite our biggest efforts, sometimes. 

Ash may not have been previously motivated with bribes, but he is now. We started out with choosing from a prize box, which I filled with an eclectic assortment of junk that I collected at Lucky Duck on dollar day. For example, I found a gold chalice (his favorite color is gold), which he calls a trophy, and it is now a prized possession. Other winners have been a tube of different colored crepe paper, which the boys strung all over the house, and rainbow tinted safety glasses. Incentivized pooping has lead to him announcing he has to poop about 14 times a day (half of the times he actually does), so the prize box is no longer feasible, and we have reduced the reward to only candy.  If he asks if he can have candy at 8am and I say no, he suddenly has to poop. He produces poop for candy, almost like a party trick. He has never pooped this much before in his life. 

Quinn and Ash helped Dad make homemade birthday cake flavored marshmallows, which were a nice potty prize. They're really good!

He's even teaching his superhero toys how to use the urinal 😂. I hear him cheering them on. He also cheers himself on. I've heard him say, "Come on, Asher, you can do it."  😂 😂 😂

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This picture may not say much to you, but it shows significant growth. We have been going to Story Time at the library since Asher was born. Until a few weeks ago, he has always sat on my lap. Even though Iris usually goes with us, and she sits on a mat on the floor, as do pretty much all of the other kids, he always climbs up to me. I'm not sure what prompted it, but one day, he grabbed a mat and parked himself on the floor between my feet. Granted, he was still touching me, but progress was made! I was so excited to capture this moment. 

Ash's 4th birthday is fast approaching, but I just keep looking at him and thinking about how little he still is. Sometimes, he’s so cute I can’t stand it. He’s also a really well behaved little boy (most of the time) and I'm lucky that he's mine. While I’m a tad bit sad for him to be growing up, I am not sad to be leaving the diaper phase behind 😂. Life is easier as they get older. 

Something changed in Quinn's brain over Christmas break. I'm not sure if some synapses finally bridged that help with emotional control, or if maybe Philip and I finally wore down his stubbornness with our consistency in not giving into his bullshit (wishful thinking), or if getting an iPad for Christmas finally gave us the leverage we needed to better guide his behavior. Probably the latter. Whatever it was, I fully welcome it because life has been so much more peaceful! The past three years of challenging behaviors have been some of the hardest of my life. We've all learned a lot from them, that's for sure. 

He looks so cute here. Too bad the story behind the grin doesn't match the sweetness. He had just looked up at me from his screen and said, "Hey Mom, I farted." I swear 🤦🏻‍♀️. 

He may be having some brain rot from that screen, but he is learning one valuable lesson from it: time management. We put a screen limit on his account, and once he reaches it, he's done for the day. I try to give him some warnings when I think he's blowing through it quickly, but he rarely heeds them. Oh well. 

Doing homework with Quinn was a nightmare, so Philip took over that task, but once I stopped doing it, Quinn started asking to do it with me again. I'm happy to do it with him if he's going to be cooperative. He doesn't pull the crap with his dad like he does with me. I was dreading that entire week of snow packets, but he completed them without incident. It's been such a pleasant change!

Another transformation came in the form of bravery and endearment. The other day, out of the blue, Quinn came to tell me that he was going to go upstairs and take a bath by himself. The same child who, twenty minutes earlier, had asked me to accompany him to his room to find a belt. I went up after I heard the water running for a few minutes to remind him not to overflow the tub, and to wash all of his parts. I asked if he needed anything, and he said he didn't, so I left. He stayed in the bathroom alone for approximately 3.5 minutes, but he accomplished his task 😂. It's a start! 

There are multiple times a day when Quinn seeks me out for a spontaneous hug. He can be so stubborn, so I am grateful for these tender moments when I get them from him. He is not usually the kid who calms down from a hug, and while he's not one to refuse a hug, it hasn't previously been a source of connection for us. I often ask myself if that's because of me and my past inability to properly emote, and I don't have an answer for that. I hope that's not the case. I want to be motherly to my children, and I feel like that's a standard mothering move. They're both so different. Ash is a kid who calms down from a hug, or a boo boo kiss, or a reminder to take a deep breath. Maybe it's just his age, but I hope so much that he doesn't outgrow it. I also hope this new serene state of Quinn's is here to stay. 

3/4th of my heart in one photo 🫶🏻

67 Day

 I didn't really plan to make half birthdays a thing, but Quinn has cared whether or not he was more than halfway through his year since he was four. We even jokingly told Ash that he was three and three quarters, and he brags to people about it any chance he gets. Quinn's half birthday was approaching on January 10th, so it felt like the stars aligned when, two days before, during my Lucky Duck trip, I found a half birthday banner decoration. I was excited to surprise him on that Saturday morning with the decoration and donuts for breakfast, and he was psyched to wake to up them. This was an extra special half birthday because he was officially halfway from 6, halfway to 7. 

We didn't really have any other plans for the day (that we remembered), so went about our morning at a leisurely pace, working out, showering, and I even made an early lunch. I was excited to make a pasta recipe that we had had a few years ago and forgotten about. It is made with fresh basil, cherry tomatoes, parmesan cheese, and garlic cloves. It was delicious. While I was in the middle of prepping it, I remembered that Philip had mentioned that our nephew, Austin, had a wrestling match that day, and we had talked about going. We made a hasty plan to go to it, in Williamstown, and to then head down to Parkersburg to take the boys bowling for their first time. We had talked before about doing it at some point, so this felt like a good time to make it happen since we wouldn't be far away. We got to the wrestling match late, thanks to the drive, but we did get to see Austin's final match, which he won in like 2.5 seconds 💪🏻 🤼. It was fun to watch and I'm glad we went, but I wished I hadn't eaten that pasta before going. I love the taste of fresh garlic, but I don't love the lingering stench. Especially if you chop it without wearing gloves 🫠. When you walk into a middle school gym filled with sweaty, prepubescent boys, you shouldn't be the stinkiest one there, but I was. I apologized to Carly and Emma, but they're family, so they tolerate me. However, there was another little girl whom I didn't know, whose space I invaded in order to have a seat, and I couldn't blame her if she was offended. Lesson learned. Again, I think. I feel like this isn't the first time this has happened to me, just in a different setting. 

Anyway, after watching Austin kick butt, we made our way to Emerson Lanes. We weren't sure if we'd be able to get a lane, but they had a few available. They boys did a great job! Mostly. Ash was overly confident but he wasn't quite strong enough to get the ball all of the way down to the pins by himself, and we had to get a worker to rescue it once when it stopped halfway down the lane. I told him he had to wait on me or his dad to take his turn, but he kept trying to go it alone 🤦🏻‍♀️. Quinn was excited when his score equaled 6-7 on his 9th frame. 

Philip and I used to bowl all of the time when we had a bowling alley in town, and we used to be pretty decent at it. We haven't been in years, but I reallllly wanted to beat him. I was disappointed that I didn't 😂. 

I at least broke 100. Quinn and Ash had bumpers, we did not. 

We ended our trip at the Walmart in Parkersburg because we needed groceries, but it’s always fun to find the gems that other Walmarts get way sooner than ours ever does. I’m a sucker for a new product to try and I follow a ridiculous amount of FB pages where they post new food finds. I didn’t need two different kinds of Cheerios, but I got them anyway. I rarely shop in person at Walmart because I’m not a masochist, but when I do go into ours, I always stalk the shelves for things I’ve seen online. I had been looking for Banana Caramel Cheerios forever, and I found those in Parkersburg. I also found Confetti Cheerios. Two days later, the Walmart app notified me that Cocoa Loops were in stock in town, so I got yet another box of cereal to try. I literally don’t even eat cereal, pretty much ever 😂. The boys eat it occasionally but they both thought the Cocoa Loops were gross. They were wrong, they’re fine, but they won’t eat them, so I guess that’s on me now. I loved cereal as a kid, they’re a couple of weirdos. Oh, and both flavors of Cheerios were good, but the Confetti ones were better. 

New Brain, Who Dis?

Twenty twenty six has gotten off to a pretty good start. I’ve been working out consistently since mid-December, an update I hesitate to share because of my fickly commitment to my health. The phase may pass as soon as I hit publish, just like a my fair-weather running 😂. My excitement for it waned with the temperature, not that it was ever very high. However, I’ve been seeing some results that I like, so who knows what will happen. I’m not sure if the timing of my new workout routine is just coincidence or causation, but my mental health is probably the best it has been in years. I kind of hope the exercise is to blame (blame? thank, probably, although it doesn’t feel that way when my muscles make me feel like I’m going to die), so that it may inspire me to make it a lasting habit. Being healthy did, in fact, used to be a habit I had, and being consistent with a workout routine kinda feels like coming home. Like, I’m one step closer to being back to who I used to be. I got lost in early motherhood. So, so lost. But I’m finally working on figuring out who I am again, and that’s a good feeling. 

I have the least amount of brain fog I’ve had in years. Literally, years. I have coherent thoughts, and I can even think of what of I was about to say sometimes. I remember items on a to-do list, or groceries I need to add to our Walmart order. My wit is returning, and I can even conjure up synonyms occasionally. Some days are better than others, like if I’m tired (or if Asher Cole has been talking nonstop while I’m trying to do literally anything), I feel like my newly acquired superpowers are diminished, but my brain power feels stronger in general. I think I even have less anxiety, which is weird. When I first started writing this, I made the bold claim that I thought my anxiety was gone, but then life intervened and proved me wrong when I freaked out over something small that ended up working out anyway 🫠. 

One thing I had questioned and talked to ChatGPT about (because I don’t see my PCP until the end of the month) is my prolonged use of antidepressants and the lasting effects it had on me. I stopped taking Pristiq (an SNRI) in mid-May of last year, and I wondered, could it really have taken 7 months for it to completely wear off? The answer is yes, according to the internet gods. The drugs wear off rather quickly, but the brain zaps sure as shit don’t. Those finally subsided completely by about month two, but apparently it can take up to a year for emotional regulation to take place (I will report back if my PCP disagrees and says Chat is a filthy liar).I have truly felt emotionally stunted for the longest time. I still get irritated and overwhelmed, but I feel better equipped to handle it now, for no reason at all. Like, I didn’t do anything to get there, other than wait it out, I guess. 

At the time that I first started taking an antidepressant, I still, even now, feel like it was the best choice. I had a super stressful job that had caused me to have a stomach ulcer. We were back and forth between unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant and figuring out what life would look like if we never did. I had started my bachelor’s degree, but my job at the time expected me to be working on a niche associate’s degree that wouldn’t even give me a leg up at any other company, just because the field I was studying wasn’t what they wanted. I already had two associate degrees, but again, not in what they wanted. I was struggling, and taking the medication (and changing jobs) helped me immensely. Because of that, I never wanted to go off of it. I know I’ve said before that I never planned to. I was too afraid of feeling that low again.

I came to the decision to do it after more than ten years because Philip and I had talked about it, and he helped me make some observations. I recognized that my circumstances in life were significantly better, and in reality, the medicine wasn’t making me feel good anymore (anxiety, mood instability, reduced motivation, and sleep issues, to name a few). If you’ve ever switched SSRI/SNRI’s, you know the transition is brutal. I did not want to do it, and honestly, going off completely was way worse than switching would’ve ever been, but I figured if I was going to have a shitty time either way, I might as well go completely off and see what happened next.

If you take an antidepressant when you don’t actually need it anymore, it can cause those symptoms I mentioned experiencing above, and many more. My biggest regret isn’t having started taking it, it is not having stopped it sooner. I wasn’t brave enough to try and because of that, I lost precious years with my boys where I was anxious and angry and apathetic. A whole trio of A words that make me sad to think about how it has affected my relationships with my boys and Philip. I was literally incapable of feeling otherwise while taking my medication. 

I’m making an effort to be more mindful of my actions and reactions, reminding myself that the boys are 3 and 6, and some things just aren’t that big of a deal. I’ve recognized that I struggle during situations where I’m not able to be in control, which means I’m more likely to make a rash decision. Just as I try to teach them, I need to pause and take some deep breaths, and think it through. 

Anyway, that’s where I’m at at the moment. It feels kind of exposing to be sharing things while I’m growing and learning, and to be completely honest, I won't go back and read anything I've previously written because I'm afraid I'll be embarrassed. However, I hope someone can grow and learn from my mistakes, too. 

***Disclaimer*** I am in no way, advocating for anyone else to stop taking their antidepressant. That can be a very risky thing to do and the decision shouldn’t be made lightly, and should probably be made with the consultation of a doctor 😬. You do you. I’m just sharing my own experience. 

December 2025

❤️🖤❤️🖤

That’s a wrap on Christmas and I think this may have been our best one yet. The boys are just at a fun age and they were more involved in choosing their gifts this year, which took some of the pressure off of me. When they opened things they didn’t particularly want, I reminded them that they are the ones who picked them out 😂. That mostly only happened with Quinn, which I kind of even expected. We had taken them to Target and let them choose things to take pictures with as a digital wish list. Quinn chose toys that Philip and I suspected he was only interested in for the moment, but what are you going to do? He was pleased overall, though, because he finally got the iPad he has been wanting. He didn’t know he was getting it, so it was a fun surprise. Ash got lots of gifts he liked, but he was a little put out that he didn’t get one. It worked out in the end, because Nana also got a new iPad, so Ash got a hand-me-down from Juno. Not that either one of them really NEEDS an iPad, but I can attest that it played a big part in creating peace during our two week break. We only have one tv in our household, by choice, so once Quinn was able to simultaneously watch shows alongside his brother, without having to take turns, both children were occupied and quiet 😂. When I went to my book club meeting at the end of December, I made an announcement that I was about to deviate from my typical discourse, so they should take note: my day had been unusually peaceful and I was in a good mood. I credited the tech for the improvement, but I said, “He can’t live the rest of his life like this,” with his nose bent over a screen, “but he can live the rest of his break like this.” I also told him. While the novelty hasn’t quite worn off, costumes and his brother are still his favorite things to play with and that’s all I can hope for. 

My call log, which was once dominated by SPAM, has now been taken over by FaceTime calls from Quinn 🤦🏻‍♀️

I really, really enjoyed our time off together, but, to be honest, I wasn’t sure I would 😂. The days leading up to Christmas break weren’t good. So much so that our elf on the shelf went home early. I will preface this by saying that I don’t love the elf, and I was pressured into even doing it to begin with, so sending him away didn't make me sad 😂. Some mornings it would unintentionally cause bad attitudes and disappointment, so I just decided to stop. The only point of regret I had about that choice was for Ash’s sake, but I couldn’t bring myself to continue. It’s my fault for setting the expectation that the elf usually brought them something, but if that something wasn’t candy, Quinn would be grumpy and ungrateful. I will not commit to allowing my children to eat candy for breakfast for 24 days, so that just wasn’t feasible. Even when he got something I know he would’ve liked had he been in a different state of mind, he was pissy about it. It just got to the point where every morning was frustrating, so I stopped. I still plan to do it next year, again, mostly because of Ash, who asks me every day when the elf is coming back, but I probably won’t start until closer to Christmas. I am fine with making Christmas magic, but I’m not going to continue making big efforts when they aren’t appreciated, but more importantly, are doing the opposite. 

We did have some fun with the elf, Candy Cane, before it went to shit. Some of things they liked were:

🌟He made a mess of crepe paper in my office and then left more for them to do

🌟 He left custom coloring pages that had their names incorporated. They're very into coloring

🌟He left cereal for breakfast and sat out pots and serving spoons for them to eat it with

🌟He left 6 and 7 number balloons, along with 67 gold (one of their favorite colors) balloons around the living room. Dad did that one while we were at Lincoln’s basketball game. Ash had touched Candy Cane the day before, so he didn’t move during the night. He had to go in the freezer to get his magic back. We came home to the surprise

🌟I had cleaned off the fridge, which had gotten rusted from picture magnets. I ordered new picture magnets and moved the old ones, so while we were waiting on them to arrive, Candy Cane took photos of himself and decorated our fridge. They thought it was hilarious that he peed in Ash’s urinal, sat on Sophie, and rode on a car.

office decor

coloring pages

giant breakfast utensils 

December 6th surprise

(s)elfies

I always write notes from the elf, and Quinn is learning to spell and writes all of the time, and often asks me to write something so that he can copy it, so I was worried that he may suddenly become a handwriting expert and call me out. There was no need, he absolutely doesn’t notice such details. While trying to help him correct his own letter form, he is unable to distinguish the differences and often argues with me that his looks like mine 😑. I’m not sure if he actually believes that, or he just likes to argue. Probably the latter. 

Another festive failure, aside from the elf, was taking the boys to the Festival of Lights. I should’ve known the timing was wrong, but we attempted a Saturday night in mid December. We made it to the top of the hill before meeting the bottleneck, where we waited in line for an hour without reaching the park entrance. When Ash started to cry because he wanted to go home, we turned around in the middle of the road and left. Our GPS said we were 4 minutes away for the entire duration of our wait, so anytime they asked how much longer it was going to be, we would tell them, “Four minutes.” This stuck and has become my and Philip’s standard answer to that question about anything. I laugh every single time. They are not the least bit amused 😂. Maybe we’ll try again next year. Like, end of November or way closer to Christmas. Lori said they went on the 22nd or 23rd and there were no lines at all. I think they will like it when there isn’t such a time sacrifice involved. 

We tried to amuse them with a sing along, and our Santa mode on GPS turned into Santa's sleigh, while the passing cars turned in to reindeer 😂

Quinn had his Christmas program before the school break started, and I went in with low expectations. I didn’t get to attend his Pre-K program because Ash broke his elbow last year, and the appointment for him to get his cast was scheduled at the same time. Philip went and sent videos and Quinn did not participate. He hadn’t participated in his Little Red Schoolhouse graduation ceremony either, so it was expected. I asked him if he was going to dance and sing for his Kindergarten performance and he said he would. I didn’t believe him, but I hoped it was true 😂. I was pleasantly surprised when he actually did all of the movements and sang along! My Mama heart could barely contain itself, I was so excited. That probably says a lot about me, but I was ecstatic about his moment of conformity. Maybe you don’t appreciate these kinds of moments as much if you don’t have a super stubborn kid, but sometimes you just want them to do the things that other kids do, ya know? I told him he did a great job, and he told me, “The first row is for kids who did really good, the second row was okay, and I was in the third row.” 😂

look at those hands up! 😍

I’m going to share an opinion that is probably going to be seen as ungrateful and unpopular, but here goes: everyone is doing too much. Santa was EVERYWHERE. Literally, everywhere we went during the holiday season, there he was. While I appreciate the thought, that’s what ruins the magic. How is seeing Santa supposed to be special when you do it 20 times a season? Ash, who is 3 (well, 3 and 3/4 if you ask him), saw Santa somewhere we frequent and told me he wasn’t the real Santa. He gave me valid reasons for why he came to that conclusion, so I told him he was right but not to tell the other children 😂. He recognized the dad, so there was no convincing him otherwise. I get that having the opportunities in a local setting is nice for children who may not travel to see him otherwise, but is that really a need when he visited their school? Christmas became like Halloween, where everyone had to do their own thing and it was just too much. I appreciate everyone’s efforts, truly. All I’m saying is if the different community factions get together and communicate with one another, maybe they could reduce the appearances. It’s not necessary. Just my two cents. 

We had Christmas Eve dinner with Philip's extended family, and Christmas evening with mine. We all had a great time. Philip and I reminded the boys before we went to his mom's that they needed to remember if they didn't like something they got, to just say, "Thank you," and that we could maybe return it later. I didn't expect too many issues because I had made them wish lists of their choosing and sent them to our gift givers. Everything went well at Nana and Juju's, but Ash forgot his manners at Greg and Lori's. To be fair, the toy he said he didn't like (which he definitely does and has played with often) was something I put on the list that I thought he would like, so he didn't choose it. It had been a long couple of days of gift opening, so I think he was just tired, but he told Lori he didn't like it 🤦🏻‍♀️. I apologized, of course, and she wasn't offended. Three year olds are the worst sometimes 😂.

Christmas Eve with the Eaglesons. I had fun wrapping the niece and nephew's gift cards like household objects 😂. Austin got a toilet, Emma got a skillet, Ayden got a shovel, and Oakley got an ax. 

Nana and Juju got us another pool pass as a Christmas gift this year, and I'm so excited. I had to email photos for the passes to Parks and Rec. I felt silly sending a photo in a Christmas shirt to be used for a summer pass, yet I'm probably not the one people would laugh at 😂

Christmas morning at home. Quinn's biggest reaction pic was from the Twix he got in his stocking 😂. I have a video of him opening his iPad and he was stunned into silence. That literally never happens to him. He liked lots of his gifts, though, and made several trips over to Philip and me to give us a hug and say thank you while opening. 

Christmas evening with the Prestons. Over the summer, someone sent me a prank gift box that had a photo of a plant urinal on it, a product that doesn't actually exist (to my knowledge), and I couldn't wait to give it to Coen for Christmas 😂. His wife, Keiana, was like, "Ohh, it's for you." 😂 😂 😂 I couldn't contain myself. 

I messed with Link by wrapping his gift card like a dustpan 

We had our last day with Iris for a bit. I loved the card she and her family gave me for Christmas. It cracked me up that she likes watching the boys wrestle when Quinn gets home from school. Wish I could relate 😂

We had our first snow day at the beginning of December, followed by two more days off school the next week. That first one was like something straight out of my own childhood memories. The boys suited up and played outside at home for a bit, and then later, we met up with my brother’s family at Lewis Wetzel for sled riding on the hills. Greg and I did that many times growing up. All of the kids had a blast. I wish Philip could’ve come with us, but I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to make that memory with our kids. 

Checking it out at home

look at those gorgeous branches 🤩

Lewis Wetzel sled riding and snowman building

Everything else 

Link played a great game when we went to watch

I didn't get many pictures because I sacrificed my phone to a sleepy kid (Ash), but Kate and her team did amazing at the game I got to watch!

We made so many sweet treats this month! This is another reason the elf couldn't leave candy every day, we were already surviving exclusively off of sugar as it was!

reindeer Graham crackers. or cracks, as Quinn calls them

Dad made gingerbread cookies. Quinn doesn't like to eat them, but he decorated one for me to eat

We baked and decorated cookies with the nieces and nephews, for like the 18th year in a row (I think). 

Ash and I missed our dental appointments during one of the snow days, but they were able to squeeze him in during Quinn's appointment the next week. Both boys did a great job getting their teeth cleaned and no cavities for either so far!

We finished the year strong with our twelfth meeting of our book club. I'm so grateful to have found this group of friends to share my love of books with. Hanging out with them is definitely a highlight for me each month!

Sophie PUPdate 🐾

This dog had a dramatic December. I usually only have a handful of photos of her, such a change from before we had kids 😂. But this month she was extra extra. 

Sophie got a toy for Christmas, but only because I knew the boys wanted her to. She doesn't really like toys, or so I thought. While she doesn't show her love through destruction, which is how every other dog we've ever had did, she does seem to be fond of it. If the boys try to play with it, she will take it from them and try to hide it under the table, which is her go-to spot. She doesn't want them playing with her toy 😂. I think Quinn feels a little put out when I tell him to leave it alone, he isn't allowed to play with her toy. I tell him, "She isn't allowed to play with your toys, and you're not allowed to play with hers." 

She also got clothes for Christmas, but once I put them on her, she stayed rooted to that spot, like it was a straight jacket instead of an article of warmth  😂 😂.

Quinn got a Sophie themed Lego set from Harper and Lawson for Christmas, so I couldn't help making her pose with them

Ash was on the chair with Philip and she did not appreciate sharing her territory with him. She has no qualms about invading everyone else's space, though. 

"Oh, we're sitting on Dad's lap? Okay!"--Sophie

She has been extra clingy this month, following me and Philip around and taking any opportunity to touch us. I hadn't even been standing in this spot long, I just walked over to my desk to look for something, and Sophie came over and laid close enough to touch me. 

This was while I was doing dishes 🤦🏻‍♀️

while sitting at my desk 🤦🏻‍♀️

being inconspicuous while Philip was at the kitchen table 🙄

There's a saying in our house, the boys know not to put their feet on people because, "Feet aren't careful." Guess she missed the memo 🙄

Even when she isn't touching us, she has to be in the middle of what's going on. While trying to find a home for my new craft supplies, she jumped right up on the bench in my office to make sure she wasn't excluded

No, it's okay, Soph, you catch that sunbeam in the doorway, you're not in the way 🙄

She didn't mind at all that she was interrupting our game of Uno. Quinn didn't mind either, though 😂 

He gives her a taste of her own medicine anytime he gets the chance

That's him under the blanket

He was showing her a picture he drew of her 🥰

he's very into drawing teeth, even when you can't necessarily see them on the regular. And his hearts look like butts, but he means well 😂🥰

Sophie gave me a scare at the beginning of the month when her eyes glazed over and she could barely see. She freaked out at night, coming upstairs but not wanting to come into our dark bedroom. Instead, she sat outside the doorway and whined for me 😑. It took some effort, but I finally convinced her to come in and she slept in our bed. Whenever I let her outside, she was scared of the shadow the door made. Of course it was a weekend, so I called the emergency line for Mountain Valley Vet Clinic after Google scared me into it. Dr. Meckley called me back and suggested I get some eye drops (regular old Visine) and see if it cleared up. Otherwise, he was going to see her the next day. Luckily, the Visine worked super quick and she’s been good to go!